In a demented state of mind. What is the deal about roping more and more people at the top?? Well i mean i can understand the intention of having a recruitment drive to capture the target group that we need...we have so much people up there but how many are actually working and how many times xiao gua get to see them??? sheesh...Im kind of starting to feel like im actually working as an outsider, i been working for you since god knows when and never ever did i complain about it...but seem to me now that im just one of your pawns that you probably could use to sacrifice.

I know that i have left the group time and time again. But it wasn't that i want to leave! I have to leave. The initial reason that i join was to improve myself and return to try to save some god forsaken group that i once belong to. But i came back nonetheless when i heard you need help, and i didn't leave ever since till i got freaking conscripted into the force. This was not my call as well. I been working by your side no matter what you requested i did it without questioning...how is it that i feel that i was never being able to be trusted and when its the crunch time, i was forsaken? I feel like i have been used time and time again but even so i never let go and still bite on..thats perhaps i still harbor some reserves that it might change and my time might one day come as well.

Truthfully, now i feel damn sicken by it..perhaps i shall fight for my own clause from now. I am sick of being a rag doll.